There are no more useless words in the English language than the words “If Only.” They consume all the energy we could spend on making our lives better today. “If Only, “I could have”, or “I should have” never change “What is.” Focusing on the future too heavily is also deadly, because it is an invitation to excessive worry. Excessive worry contaminates the present moment more than almost any other activity, primarily because it precludes any possibility of developing our faith in the sense of trusting God more and acknowledging He is in control, and thankfully, not us.
Therapy offers the key to unlock the doors that have remained shut long enough to forget that their were doors, or choices in the first place.